I Choose To Be Proud Of Myself
Two days ago, I had the chance to tell someone, "I see you. I'm completely aware of your disheartening, mean-spirited, and flippant comments. It hurt my feelings, but I'm still standing. I'm okay. You didn't break me or anyone else that I love."
I didn't yell. I didn't cry. I realized I didn't care enough to do either. I watched as that person squirmed, mumbled, and looked genuinely ridiculous. There would have been a time that I would have seen that weakness and skewered them just because I could. In my mind, I had the right. But not Sunday. I just made my statement, watched a moment, and then proceeded to walk away. After all, I had a family room to dust--in other words, something way more important to do.
I choose to be proud of myself. I'm choosing it even when I fall flat on my face. I'll be proud that I tried. I'm choosing it when others compliment me and I struggle with accepting their kindness. I can join in and be proud of myself too. Sometimes it's the tiniest thing that can make you proud. Sunday was a hella proud day!
This morning I ran across a quote I'd copied into my journal months ago:
"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and be eaten alive." -Audra Lorde
Words are the most powerful thing we have for or against others. Choose them wisely. You never know when you'll hear yours again. Have a beautiful Tuesday, darlings!